Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize