I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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