I murdered the dance floor call the cops
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
