Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
