Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
