and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
