AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
