so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
