I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
