I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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