Your tits are I can't wait for
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
