i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
