OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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