Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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