We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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