You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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