We're like a lot better than the average bears
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
