Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
