the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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