I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You may now shotgun with the bride
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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