Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
