I must be too annoying 4 u.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
