I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
My vagina just clenched in fear
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
