I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
