Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I smell stomach acid.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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