u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
