It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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