New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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