Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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