I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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