think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
