playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
