And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He shit in the fireplace
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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