like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
