apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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