We're like a lot better than the average bears
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Randomize
