I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize