in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize