This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I would fuck him just for his dog
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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