Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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