look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
