I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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