If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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