I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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