Kareoke will never be a sober sport
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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