I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize