we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Randomize
