i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
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