My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
