On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Just high enough for therapy.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Two words: nipple clamps
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