I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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