I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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