I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize