your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
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