I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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