he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
