I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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