What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
