just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
