Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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