I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
