Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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