We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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