you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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