so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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